Fashion and beauty standards are always changing. Between 1500 and 1900, being curvaceous was not only seen as beautiful but highly desirable. But alas — today, curviness is out and thinness is in. If we choose to buy into these beliefs, those of us who are plus size may feel like we were simply born in the wrong decade.

Today’s media constantly tells us how our bodies should look, often showcasing lanky, airbrushed models. And with the rise of weight loss medications like Ozempic and others, the pressure to conform has only intensified.

Many wrongly assume that not being thin is a personal or moral failing. In truth, weight can be influenced by a wide variety of factors: medications, hormones, stress, sleep patterns — and genetics. I hold a degree in dietetics and nursing; I know the science. I’ve tried most of the healthy diets — and more than a few unhealthy ones. For many people, living up to society’s unrealistic beauty standards is not only overwhelming but downright exhausting.

Instead of chasing an impossible ideal, focus on eating as healthily as you can and learn to feel good in your own skin — no matter your size or shape. Be confident in who you are. Hold your head up high. You are beautiful.

One day when I wasn’t feeling confident in my skin, a good friend told me that God doesn’t make junk. I needed that reminder. Our worth is not dependent on measures on a digital scale or someone else’s opinion of us. I am a child of God and He doesn’t make junk!

Color and Confidence

Many of us plus-size women have heard conflicting advice: “Wear black, it’s slimming!” Or, “Don’t wear black, you’ll look like a giant blob.” And of course, we’ve all received well-meaning but unsolicited fashion tips from friends blessed with lightning-fast metabolisms.

I’m not here to dictate what colors you should wear. My advice: choose colors that flatter your complexion and make you feel vibrant. There are great tools and systems that help you identify your best shades — one is Colorwise, but many others exist. If possible, consider getting your colors done professionally. Years ago, I discovered I’m a Spring, but I also wear some Summer and Fall shades depending on the piece. At times, I even wear black – a Winter color. When I venture outside my palette, I simply use makeup or accessories to brighten my face.

Bottom line? Wear what makes you feel good. When you feel good about how you look it often translates into confidence putting a smile in your heart and a spring in your step. When you feel confident in your own skin, it enhances your natural beauty.

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The Power of Skin Care and Simple Habits

If you enjoy makeup, wear it. If you don’t — skip it. I rarely wear makeup, but I never skip sun protection. As a result, few people guess my true age.

Avoid smoking as it causes premature aging of the skin. It causes uneven skin discoloration especially on the face along with wrinkles, especially around the mouth. Besides it yellows your teeth, and makes your breath sink.

Simple habits like getting enough sleep and drinking plenty of water do wonders for your skin and overall appearance. Sleep makes your eyes sparkle. Hydration protects your skin and slows the aging process naturally/

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Start with the Right Foundation

Building your wardrobe starts from the bottom up — literally. If your undergarments aren’t comfortable or confident.

Start with well-fitting underwear made from breathable, skin-friendly fabrics like organic cotton, bamboo, hemp, or even wool. Yes, wool!

• Bras: I’m still searching for the perfect natural fiber bra, but I’ve found success with Evelyn & Bobbie’s Evelyn Bra Collection. This woman-owned company offers underwire-free bras that provide excellent support and comfort.
• Underwear: I’ve switched to wool underwear and haven’t looked back. They stay comfortable even on long trips (think transatlantic flights!). My favorite is from Simply Merino, offering sizes from XS to 3X.
• Camisoles & Slips: Simply Merino also makes incredibly comfortable camisoles. For slips, I love Wool&’s merino options — available in several colors like black, rose, light blue, and oatmeal.

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Choose Clothes That Fit Now

The key to feeling great in your clothes is comfort. Buy clothing that fits your current body. If you’re constantly tugging at something that’s too tight, too short, or ill-fitting, you’re not going to feel confident.

And let go of items you haven’t worn in a year. If it doesn’t fit now, pass it on to someone who can enjoy it. Build your wardrobe with timeless, well-made pieces that make you feel like the beautiful person you are.

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Quality Over Quantity

Fast fashion falls apart fast. We’ve been taught that buying lots of inexpensive clothes will make us feel stylish. In reality, overconsumption creates clutter, decision fatigue, and stress. You only need a few garments you adore. As Wool& wisely says:

“Owning less allows you to have the best — or depending on how you look at it, having the best allows you to own less.”

Choose garments made from high-quality, sustainable materials like wool, organic linen or cotton, hemp, bamboo, silk, or seaweed fibers. Thrift shops and resale sites are also great options, but don’t buy something just because it’s cheap — buy it because it fits and makes you feel fabulous.

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Some of My Favorite Brands

Universal Standard | Universal Standard
Size-inclusive from 00–40. They offer jeans, dresses, skirts, outerwear, and linen items (seasonally). Their Fit Liberty program allows you to exchange pieces if your size changes within a year. A true investment in quality.

Wool& | Wool&
Specializing in merino wool dresses, tops, leggings, jackets, and socks. Merino is temperature-regulating — warm in winter, cool in summer. With proper care, their garments last for years and are machine washable with wool-safe detergent.

Good American | Good American
The jeans that fit like magic — like The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants come to life! These jeans fit multiple sizes and are incredibly comfortable, even for long plane rides. Good American uses 70% “responsible materials,” including organic and recycled cotton. I buy most of mine secondhand on Poshmark and eBay.

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Remember: True beauty isn’t about conforming to arbitrary standards. It’s about honoring who you are today — in clothing that supports your body, your lifestyle, and your joy.